Y 10.13.2007Y
3:51 PM
I woke up with this dream.The dream that I wished for.The one that I need.It’s like a sign.A sign to show me if I’m doing the “right thing”Coz I’m not so sure if I’m on the so-called “right track”Pardon me, I thought I was, but I guess I was wrong.Being wrong is what I’m sick && tired of.Yeh, sick && tired. I’m searching for the answers.And then it came“I’m not yet healed”Or maybe I’m not yet ready for this.Maybe I need time for myself.Or maybe I’m just not sure if this’ll work out.But it’s all “maybe’s”Darn it! The cause are just to deep.Past? Yeh.That past. A mixture of love && hatred.Or love turned into hatred??Who would not feel hatred from all the things that he’s done?I thought I was numb.But still, not numb enough.I can still feel pain and hatred.But still feel the love.I hate him, yeh. But there’s still a little bit of love.I don’t know what to do.And I hate myself for that.It's ruining everything.
It's ruining me.
I want this new love.
Do i have any chances?
Chances of surviving this?